Thursday, March 25, 2010

Stealth takeout.

As The nervous solider sits squeamishly in his chair glaring at the monitor for any breaches or alarms. He always said to himself we're in the middle of nowhere and there hasn’t been a breach since it was built. Why would they come now? Especially on his first day at communications. Hours passed and he laid dazzily looking at the screen. Then he had an erge to use the restroom. But being disconnected, with no higher ranks looking over him not only was he able to eat and drink freely with a food supply to last 50 years but he had to go to the bathroom outside or not at all. After relieving himself he walks in opens the door and distress alarms and breaches all over Charlie companies’ base are popping up. He immediately opens a comm. channel with Charlie base. At first there was static then he heard someone. This is corporal Ackerson of Charlie company service number 7613 do you read me. The near hyperventilating solider said I read you, what’s wrong. We got tangos on are radar and soldiers disappearing everywhere. We believe that they are... Private why aren’t you standing guard? Private stand at down now!! I am prepared to use for, ahh ahh bang bang. What happened corporal? My own solider bit me I think... I’m... ah...Urg...ahh...Corporal? He said. But all he heard was static. He then quickly opened up a comm. channel with alpha base. He said alpha base this is Sergeant Collins comm. leader communication base 005 service number 3795 do you read me. Then he heard a voice. Sergeant Collins what do you need. I need an emergency video comm. at Charlie base. But then static and the Voice comm. opened up. Hello Collins said. This is Ackerson. But…but… I thought you were dead. I am… he replies seconds before the power goes out. Quickly the solider reboots the generator and activates the security system. He suddenly feels light headed and faints.

1 comment:

  1. Very suspenseful! The dialogue really pushes the plot, especially the foreshadowing sentence, "Private why aren't you standing guard?"
    Let's work on formatting the dialogue correctly.

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